How to Be True to Yourself

Enis Waitley

My grandparents believed you were either honest or you weren't. There was no in between. They had a simple motto hanging on their living-room wall: "Life is like a field of newly fallen snow; where I choose to walk every step will show." They didn't have to talk about it — they demonstrated the motto by the way they lived.

They understood instinctively that integrity means having a personal standard of morality and ethics that does not sell out to expediency and that is not relative to the situation at hand. Integrity is an inner standard for judging your behavior. Unfortunately, integrity is in short supply today — and getting scarcer. But it is the real bottom line in every area of society. And it is something we must demand of ourselves. A good test for this value is to look at what I call the Integrity Triad, which consists of three key principles:

Stand firmly for your convictions in the face of personal pressure. There's a story told about a surgical nurse's first day on the medical team at a well-known hospital. She was responsible for ensuring that all instruments and materials were accounted for during an abdominal operation. The nurse said to the surgeon, "You've only removed 11 sponges, and we used 12. We need to find the last one."

I removed them all, the doctor declared. "We'll dose now."

You can't do that, Sir, objected the rookie nurse. "Think of the patient..."

Smiling, the surgeon lifted his foot and showed the nurse the 12th sponge. "You'll do just fine in this or any other hospital," he told her.

When you know you're right, you can't back down.

Always give others credit that is rightfully theirs. Don't be afraid of those who might have a better idea or who might even be smarter than you are.

David Ogilvy, founder of the advertising firm Ogilvy & Mather, made this point clear to his newly appointed office heads by sending each a Russian nesting doll with five progressively smaller figures inside. His message was contained in the smallest doll: "If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, Ogilvy & Mather will become a company of giants." And that is precisely what the company became — one of the largest and most respected advertising organizations in the world.

Be honest and open about who you really are. People who lack genuine core values rely on external factors — their looks or status — in order to feel good about themselves. Inevitably they will do everything they can to preserve this facade, but they will do very little to develop their inner value and personal growth.

So be yourself. Don't engage in a personal cover-up of areas that are unpleasing in your life. When it's tough, do it tough. In other words, face reality and be adult in your responses to life's challenges.

Self-respect and a clear conscience are powerful components of integrity and are the basis for enriching your relationships with others.

Integrity means you do what you do because it's right and not just fashionable or politically correct. A life of principle, of not succumbing to the seductive sirens of an easy morality, will take you forward into the 21st century without having to check your tracks in a rearview mirror. My grandparents taught me that.

如何真实地表现自我

丹尼斯·韦特莱

我爷爷奶奶认为，一个人要么是诚实的，要么就是不诚实的，不存在非此非彼的中间角色。他们家起居室的墙上，挂有一句简单的箴言：“漫漫人生，好似一片田野雪被新铺；步步脚印，显示我选定的行经之路。”关于这句箴言，他们无须作任何解释——他们生活方式的本身，就印证了这句格言。

他们凭直觉意识到，笃实正直，意味着个人具有明确的道德、伦理标准。既不因考虑自身利益而牺牲原则，也不迁就于眼下的一时一事。为人正直，是判断个人行为的内在标准。不幸的是，如今却缺少正直这一品质，并且日见其少。然而正直诚实正是社会各个领域的真实底线，也是我们个人自身所必须拥有的律己准绳。要了解其价值的有效检测手段，不妨看一下我所说的“三位一体正直准则”，它由三项关键的原则组成：

在个人压力面前要坚定自己的信念。有个故事，说的是一家著名医院里的一名手术室护士，她第一天参加外科手术，其职责是在腹部手术过程中，确保所有医疗器械和材料的充分准备和安全使用。该护士对主刀大夫说：“你只取出来11块海绵，而我们总共用了12块，我们必须找到这最后一块。”

“我全都取出来了嘛，”主刀医生说，“我们要缝刀口了。”

“你不能这么做，先生，”那个护士新手反对说。“请您为病人想一……”

主刀医生微笑地抬起了脚，让护士看那第十二块海绵。他对她说：“你肯定会干得很出色的，不管是在这家医院还是在别家医院。”

只要你认为自己是对的，就绝不能往后退缩。

要坚持表彰那些本该得到表扬的人。不要害怕那些想法比你高明或者比你更聪明的人。

大卫·奥格威，是奥美广告公司的创始人，他很清楚地表明了上述观点。他给新任命的办公室主管人员，各送去一套五只一组、按大小依次套叠的俄罗斯套娃。在内层最小的娃娃里放了一张他写的字条：“假如我们每人手下雇用的都是些比自己矮小的人，那么我们就会成为一家侏儒公司。反之，如果我们手下的雇员都比自己高大，那么奥美公司将成为一家巨人公司。”果不其然，后来这家公司真的成为了世界上最大的、也是最受人推崇的广告公司之一。

要诚实而坦然地展示你真实的自我。那些缺乏真实核心价值的人，依赖外部因素——他们的外貌或地位——来保持自我的良好感觉。他们免不了要竭尽所能地来维护这部分华而不实的外观，却很少会去努力开发他们内在的价值，促进个人的成长。

因此，应显示自己的本色。对你个人生活中不太亮丽的部分，别想方设法去掩饰。难应付的，就使出点狠劲来应付。换句话说，面对现实，在应对人生挑战时应显示出足够的成人气概。

自尊和问心无愧，是诚实正直的强固组成部分，也是丰富你的人际关系的基础。

诚实正直，意味着你该干什么就干什么，因为这是正当的事，并非只是出于一时之兴，也不是为了冠冕堂皇地应付场面。有原则的生活，不屈从于声色犬马、放荡自流，必会使你获得成功。它将引领你心安理得地进入21世纪，而无须通过后视镜检测你的人生轨迹。我的爷爷奶奶就是这么教育我的。

Key Words:

rookie     ['ruki]     

n. 新手

surgeon  ['sə:dʒən]

n. 外科医生

morality  [mə'ræliti]     

n. 道德，美德，品行，道德观

integrity  [in'tegriti]      

n. 诚实，正直，完整，完善

sponge   [spʌndʒ]

n. 海绵，海绵状的东西

vt. 用海绵擦拭，

supply    [sə'plai]  

n. 补给，供给，供应，贮备

vt. 补给，供

pressure ['preʃə]   

n. 压力，压强，压迫

v. 施压

expediency    [iks'pi:diənsi] 

n. 权宜，方便，私利

motto     ['mɔtəu] 

n. 座右铭，箴言

ethics      ['eθiks]   

n. 道德规范

core [kɔ:]

n. 果心，核心，要点

vt. 挖去果核

status     ['steitəs] 

n. 地位，身份，情形，状况

check      [tʃek]     

n. 检查，支票，账单，制止，阻止物，检验标准，方格图案

fashionable    ['fæʃənəbl]    

adj. 流行的，时髦的

seductive       [si'dʌktiv]

adj. 诱惑的，引人注意的，有魅力的

respected       [ri'spektid]     

adj. 受尊敬的 v. 尊敬；重视（respect的过

morality  [mə'ræliti]     

n. 道德，美德，品行，道德观

engage   [in'geidʒ]

v. 答应，预定，使忙碌，雇佣，订婚

genuine  ['dʒenjuin]     

adj. 真正的，真实的，真诚的

tracks           

n. 轨道（track的复数）；磁道；轮胎

参考资料：

2. 大学英语精读(第三版) 第二册:Unit8b How to Be True to Yourself(2)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语